Embarrassing Situation.

 Farm to Market Road

My parents, sister and I after having dinner with my brother and his family in McCall, were now on our way home to Lake Fork. It was late evening and the temperature already below zero. Our fingers and toes numb from the cold as Mona and I shivered in the back seat, waiting for the car to warm up. Snow banks loomed over snow-covered roads while a full moon illuminated Long Valley. I chirped from the back seat, “Daddy lets take the Farm to Market Road tonight.” I liked this dirt road that wound like a snake through the countryside up and down hills, around corners and passed lone farmhouses lit by a single porch light. Daddy turned on the signal light and made the corner. The car lights shone bright and up ahead a car was parked on the side of the road, doors open and two people standing outside and the car still running. The car was parked at such an angle that the figures were partially hidden from view. Must be having car trouble, we thought, maybe a flat tire. Daddy pulled over and braked to a stop. “Joe, see if you can help and I will stay here with the girls.” Mom said.

Even with the full moon we couldn’t tell just what was going on as we watched the shadowy figures moving in the moonlight. Daddy wasn’t looking under the hood or at the tires of the car but was helping a person stand up, helping them (the figures looked like women) adjust their clothing and then guided both of the figures into their car. He shut the doors, turned and walked quickly back to our car. One look at his face and we should have known to keep quiet but we were full of questions. 

“Was that a lady by the car?” I ask. 

“Had she fallen down?” said Mona. 

Mom was trying to shush us and Daddy tight lipped said, “We will follow then until they get to their lane and make sure they get home.” 

 “But who are they and what was wrong?” 

“Della, they are two local woman who are quite drunk and one of the ladies had to go to the bathroom. She managed to go to the bathroom, but when she tried to pull her pants up she kind of “jack knifed and couldn’t stand back up.” 

The picture we saw (in our minds) was a lady, her bare bottom staring at the moonlight and Mom had sent Daddy to help. Mom, Mona and I started to laugh. 

Daddy said, “STOP, it’s not funny and you shouldn’t be laughing at them. They are to be pitied not made fun of.” “But Daddy,” “No, he said, that’s enough they are almost to their turn, lets hope they make it without going into the ditch. I volunteered to drive them but the one lady insisted she was able to drive. On a cold night like this they could have frozen to death, the state they are in.”

We continued on home in silence, the magic of the night was lost. The subject was later discussed between the three of us Mom, Mona and I but out of earshot of our Dad. It was plain to us that we were not laughing at the women who had too much too drink on a regular basis but that Daddy had been sent to help and walked into a rather embarrassing situation. About a week later as we gathered around our supper table eating our usual fare of bread and milk, a smile played at the corners of Daddies mouth and out of the blue he said, “I guess that was kind of funny last week when I had to help the lady pull up her pants.” Again we started to laugh and this time he laughed with us and we talked about what was funny about that night and he knew that we were not making fun of the two ladies.