Family Reunion 2023 North Powder...Rain/Sun

 Rusty and I left Joseph around 8am on Friday morning June 9th, for North Powder, Oregon and the Ashton/Madden reunion...Five of my nieces, my brother Georges' girls, had been planning this event for several months...Paula and husband Shane offered to host it at their small ranch, lots of room for RV's/tents and an outside kitchen in a rock building where the families could gather for food, drink and conversation...Also the lovely, lawns/gardens surrounding their home with a view of the mountains...The other four girls, Sue, Pode, Diane and Amy would plan the  details of inviting extended families, food for the weekend and a bajillion other things.

Rusty and I arrived about 1pm in a torrential downpour...Vehicles were parked everywhere, people came from surrounding towns and many from Utah...Soon we were all under an outside shelter away from the pouring rain, a propane fire pit and wood stove for warmth...The often asked question, "How do you fit in this family," was repeated many times...Soon there were no strangers, just relatives joined together for a good time!..Many more people would arrive later in the evening and on Saturday, while most of the Utah relatives would stay for breakfast on Saturday morning, then leave for another reunion in Washington, with their siblings.

Friday evening, everyone enjoyed a taco bar and tamales with delicious cheese cake and carrot cake for dessert.  Saturday morning arrived clear, sunny, and dry!..I'm sure the hosts breathed a sigh of relief, much easier to entertain a large group of people in dry, warm weather...A full breakfast was prepared in the outside kitchen, the smell of bacon, sausages and pork belly filled the air and pancakes floated onto plates, soon to be swimming in syrup...Side dishes of scrambled eggs, fruit salad and fresh strawberries rounded out the morning menu...Bobbi and Cienna arrived from Portland.

We visited the morning away, bid goodbyes to the Utah cousins, went for walks, wandered the lawn and gardens planted with all the wonderful summer vegetables...A bad mitten court was set up and a plastic dart board, for the younger folks...One toddler, Juniper 18 months old, entertained us and me, the eldest at 80, visited and watched everyone having a good time.

We, Rusty, Bobbi, Cienna and I left mid afternoon when I felt the need to return to "our" home on Barton Heights...Herb's 86 birthday would have been on June 9th and our 62nd anniversary on June 10th...Our family was able to sit on the deck, with a  view of the mountains, reminding us of the many celebrations we have had here...The reunion was great for all of us, surrounded by the love of our extended families...Thanks everyone...Hugs To All OWAV:)

ER, Hospital, Swing Bed, Loving Care...Cloudy, possible rain.

 Life is moving on, on Barton Heights, so many things to do...We have the garden in, weeds somewhat under control, flowers blooming and a family reunion coming up this weekend.

....I have given you a glimpse of our life with dementia and will sum it up with this blog, as well as I can, with one last story...The doctors had told me early on that at some point in this journey Herb would not recognize me or other family members, but one can never be really prepared for this...Herb did it in his own unique way about a month before he passed away...Rusty had left that morning for a two day volunteer trip...The following I wrote to Bobbi, so I wouldn't forget it... 

(Dad and I were sitting in the living room, like any other day, Out of the blue he looked at me and said, “Do I need to compensate you for your time?”  I said, WHY?  Herb said, “Della must have hired you to take care of me, so i need to pay you"… I said, I’m Della, what are you taking about?  Herb, “You look like Della but you're not her, she isn’t here…This went on all day, him explaining things to me, where food is, what time we eat, how “Della” does things…Do I know where to take him for acupuncture, I answer yes, I go there too…”Really, you know Terry?”…As it got closer to his bedtime, he said, “If you go to bed before I do, you can go in the bathroom to change clothes and if I go to bed first, I’ll go into the bedroom and change" (instead of in the middle of the living room, like we usually did.) He was very specific that I wasn’t Della and we would’nt be changing in front of each other…Weirdest day of my life!..Anyway he slept all night again, and i’m getting more sleep (we are sleeping in separate rooms by this time)...I thought maybe “Della" would return this morning, but nope i’m still the hired caregiver, without a name and I have no idea what my pay is…He is still telling me how to do things and surprised that I know so many people that he knows and making sure that I know how to get to Enterprise and do I know where the car keys are because he isn’t allowed to drive or have keys…I take “Della’s” pills, wear her clothes and sometimes when I get a bit bossy, i get more like her….Sometimes Bobi is his sister and Rusty is his brother and Cienna is his niece….I guess its his way of being in charge, I try to see the humor in this whole scenario...

On the third day, we had an appointment to sign our Powers of Attorney, and did so without a glitch, and when we got back in the car, Herb said, " So you're back," and I said "I've always been here." He didn't argue, but after that "the other lady" moved in and out of our life, on occasion. 

In closing, Herb passed away peacefully in "Loving Care" in our local hospital, where he spent his last week...He got exceptional care by so many loving people and had amazing doctors, we couldn't have done any better at home...Rest in Peace, never to be forgotten,
our love is forever.

From Electronics to a Calendar...Lovely Morning

Glacier Grill at Wallowa Lake, has just opened for the summer season, under new management and with a new cook...I joined "the ladies" for breakfast and visiting, we sat outside, to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine...Food was all very good and they might make this a summer place in their breakfast rotation.

....More about dementia and how we coped...It was difficult for Herb to keep track of the days, since the iPad no longer made sense...So I found a 2023 calendar, and put basic appointments on the correct days and also added in "shower days." hoping this would help him see how the week would go...He had always been "structured" with his routine...He put the flag out every morning at daylight, made our bed before breakfast, for example, but recently he had gotten really mixed up...The flag might go up at 2am and be taken down mid afternoon...Sometimes he didn't want to shower, because he had just showered the day before (he really had not), and sometimes it seemed right to shower twice a day...My idea was to look at the calendar every morning and then put a check through it when the day was over...Herb thought differently...He got up, checked everything off for the day and sometimes, 2 or 3 more days, then said, "What do we do now?"...First we laughed, then we cried and the days continued on sometimes in total mayhem...Dementia is an insidious disease, it sneaks into your life, so slowly, damaging brain cells, without being detected...It was totally mind boggling for us, I can't imagine how terrible it is for the person "Herb" to wake up in such a helpless state of mind everyday and try to keep his head from being so crazy...He tried so hard and never gave up.

I must get moving, just heard Rusty drive in, I need to get something cooking or maybe he will, while I finish this...Hugs To All...OWAV:)

Hosta

A Jam Packed Week....Yard Work, Cooking, Friends.

 Breakfast this morning at Glacier Grill and a visit this afternoon with my friend Amy...So nice to have new friends and old friends that rally around when life gets tough!

....Herb was able to walk out of the ER that evening, with a walker, and up a few steps with Rusty's help...We had a prescription that would reduce the agitation, confusion and help him sleep...The night went well, but the meds really made him groggy.

Over the past year, broken sleep, and nightmares, had been a pattern...With dementia, people become fixated on certain things, Herb would wake me in the night to help him look for a book, or a key, things that didn't exist, except in his dream/imagination...It could take up to two hours to calm/soothe him, I would tell him we would look more in the morning...Sometimes these dreams were nightmares, people were outside with guns, they wanted to harm us and he would be holding me so tight, trying to protect me...On those nights it was better to get up and sit in our recliners with lights on to help him see that we were not in danger...The doctor suggested we sleep in separate bedrooms, Rusty spent more nights with us so I could get more sleep...continued

I mowed the lawn yesterday, started the mower on the first pull...Rusty was building a rack on his pickup so he can haul our winters wood...We had leftovers, made into a chicken/caesar salad, for dinner, ice cream for dessert...Late evening I
deadheaded daffodils and took a few photos...Hugs To All...OWAV:)

My newest flowers, a gift.

Medical Equipment...Cloudy

 Friday morning found Rusty and I on the road to Wallowa, we had all kinds of medical equipment to return to "Lending Hearts."...A volunteer run organization that has a HUGE inventory of everything from crutches to hospital beds...(including wheelchairs, commodes, walkers, depends, wet/dry pads and even an alarm to keep your loved one from getting out of the bed or chair.) All of these things are free to anyone needing them,(donation are welcome but not necessary.)..Call Linda Bouck at 541.398.0196.

...On each of Herb's trips to the ER, we kept hearing the words "care center."..We have one about 5 blocks from our house, "Alpine House," assisted living, another one in Enterprise, Senior Living, with "memory care." With the help of the hospital, we started researching local, LaGrande 70 miles away, and places even farther away...Also home care was in our minds and something called "comfort care," offered at the hospital but the patient has to need "critical care."..All of these places have to evaluate the patient before admittance...Alpine house, wouldn't work, Senior living was full, Wildflower in LaGrande was working on our application and ready to do an evaluation, in the meantime, home care was first in our minds...Rusty has a van that can hold all of the equipment and we soon needed another walker, a wheelchair and a commode, may as well bring a hospital bed as well.

...I have to back up a bit, what I'm writing about now happened within 2 1/2 weeks...On Saturday, April 19th Herb took a bad fall in our driveway, hitting his head, but was able to get up and into the house, with help and no noticeable ill effects...Then Tuesday morning found him back in the ER and the diagnosis at that time was brain bleeds (from the fall) and possibly flying him to Boise, to the "trama center." At this point, I told the ER doctor, that we had decided, at our advanced age, we wouldn't be flown out of the county...If they couldn't fix us here, then we would let nature take its course...He looked at me like I had two heads and horns!..But after he consulted with the "trama team"again they agreed, Herb would stay in Wallowa county, but they didn't didn't have a bed available, so we brought him home.

At this time Herb was started on an antiphychotic drug, to help with agitation, confusion and what he called, craziness in his head...He as well as Rusty and I, felt so totally helpless...continued

I helped Rusty unload all the medical equipment, putting it in the proper places, ready for the next family to use...He took us on a scenic drive home, giving us time to think, talk, reminisce and bring us to some kind of closure...I still have a lot to tell...Dinner last night was Sweet and Sour meatballs over rice, eaten on the deck, with our view of the mountains...Hugs To All...OWAV:)

Yesterday was a good day...Cool, Sunny

 8am found me at the "Cricket" in Joseph for breakfast with ladies, that I have known for many years...They make me feel welcome and loved and it gives me the chance to talk, reminisce and move back into the real world.,,It was a fun morning and I might not be a regular, but definitely will join them for more good conversation and food.

Rusty is home from his volunteer job with the Forest Service and we have projects lined up for today...Looks like another cool but sunny day and both of us got a good nights sleep so hope to get moving soon!

I fixed my recipe for Panong Curry for dinner yesterday, it was tasty but needs some tweaking to taste more like the cafe version...Hugs to All...OWAV:)

Panang Curry

 

Gardens...Cloudy/Sunny

 Gardens are a big part of my life now...It wasn't always so...My Mom was a gardener...It was her sacred place, her happy place and where she went to think and get away from everyday problems..Although I loved flowers and eating fresh food from a garden, I could buy all of those things from the store, and save myself so much work!...Until things changed in my life...First my mom moved from Utah to Elgin, Oregon, just 50 miles from me instead of 600...She needed help with her gardens and I could do that, since I had summers off from my job, in the hot lunch room at Joseph schools...Then suddenly I began to have trouble with vertigo, dizziness that didn't go away...On good days, I helped Mom in her garden and found solace in digging in the dirt, also I could take my frustrations out on dirt clods and weeds, maybe digging in the dirt was a good thing for me.

This brings me back to the present as I look around at beautiful flowers and think about the reason this all started...Early on in the planting of any flower that caught my eye, to flower boxes that were planted with love to remember our families, no longer with us...Herbs mother always said, "Don't waste flowers on me after i'm dead, I want to enjoy them while I'm alive."...So around Memorial Day every year, I started planting flowers for everyones enjoyment, but they are in remembrance of our parents and now of Herb...Herb didn't have much interest in gardens of any kind and even less interest in mowing lawns...Early on in our married life he proclaimed, "I will put down gravel, spray paint it green and never have to push a mower around."...But I wanted a lawn, some green grass!.. So he solved this problem, when he bought a riding mower and "happily" took up lawn mowing.

When we retired, we did some traveling during spring and fall months, but summers were spent at our most beautiful place, here on Barton Heights...We planted fruit trees, made more flower beds, digging in the dirt and planting became our life...Herb never complained about doing the heavy lifting, hauling wheel barrow loads of manure, so I could scatter it...We/I ordered huge loads of chips that we spread to keep the weeds at bay, he wasn't much into planting flowers and mostly called them "Della's Weeds," but he came to love them as much as I did...Our vegetable garden is another source of pleasure, from planting to harvest...His eyes lit up at the first rhubarb pie of the season, spears of asparagus on his dinner plate, scallions dipped in salt along with a sandwich and new potatoes and peas in a cream sauce, just like his mother used to make...We planted garlic every fall, harvested it in late July...He became a pro at peeling, slicing (with the help of the food processor) drying and pulverizing the garlic, so we could share it with family and friends.

Yesterday I spent the afternoon at Bill and Mona's, we had delicious chicken soup and biscuits for lunch, followed by a game of cards...So enjoyable!..I made sure to take photo's last night as the sun slid behind our mountains...Hugs To All...OWAV:)

Allium