For the next two years I worked part time, kept my job as Head Cook, but only because I had a well trained staff that kept the kitchen on an even keel....The school was in continual flux, with budget cuts, changing administrations, moral in the toilet...I attended board meeting on a regular basis, trying to keep up on the changes being made and to protect the lunch program...This certainly didn't help my state of mind.
I returned to the "Dizzy Clinic" for semi annual checkups, always hoping for a new break through to treat my condition...The good news was that since my balance was a total loss that I would be free of dizzy spells but the doctors had no idea how long the zoned out spells would last...The doctors and I were also concerned about my working in the kitchen, lifting hot, heavy containers, with my non functioning balance system...They encouraged me to look into early retirement.
Still using sick leave I stuck it out for another year but because of fatigue, I could never made it through a full week...Physical and mental changes took place as I coped with my new life...Would I ever be able to walk in a straight line or think straight again?..Trying to remain positive, when all I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and sleep until my old life was restored...Daily I fought against depression and anger and yes I asked the question, "Why me?"
Coming to grips with all of this I found a new outlet in gardening...Digging in the dirt, planting, weeding and seeing a new world every spring gave me hope that I could have a life, maybe not quite like the old one, but good in different ways...Hugs To All...OWAV:)
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