Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Welcome To My World...30º

On my second visit to OHSU some 25 years ago I was subjected to several tests, still looking for a reason for my illness and also to gauge if I had any balance function left...The rotating chair, where I was connected with many electrodes, to measure my eye movements, was painless...The ENG/Caloric test, where from warm to ice water was introduced into the ear (held in place by a rubber dam) was also painless for me...I should have reacted with dizziness, nausea, vomiting...The "cube test" or CDP test (click on the link) was the worst...It was emotionally and mentally draining...A harness kept me safe and upright, so I wouldn't suffer any injuries...I totally flunked all three of these tests and was officially diagnosed with "Bilateral Vestibular Loss."

Limited rehab programs were available in Portland but none were offered in Wallowa County...So Dr. S suggested that I continue walking daily (in a safe environment) for exercise and I continued to work part time...Luckily I had built up sick leave over the past 12 years and could work a 3 day week...My biggest problem then was the "zoned out, spaced out" world that I lived in...A brain fog so thick that mental clarity was impossible...My dedicated staff manned the kitchen, I floated in and out.

The question I kept asking the medical profession was, "Will I ever feel normal again." They couldn't tell me...The best answer I got was, "Over time your brain will help your body adjust and that will feel normal to you."

The local doctor I had been seeing for the last year couldn't understand my illness and thought that as long as I looked okay, nothing was wrong with me and he thought I was just feeling sorry for myself...I found a different doctor and explained to him that I wasn't looking for sympathy, but for compassion and support as I coped with my illness and moved on with my life...Hugs To All...OWAV:)

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