OWAV:)...05/31/11...5am...41°...rain overnight, cloudy

I have write group today, maybe repot geraniums for the front porch...simmer soup bones for broth and make a meat loaf for dinner...that way Herb will have food for his dinner  tomorrow while I'm in Walla Walla with Pat...Looking forward to the trip over Tollgate, always such a pretty drive and then lots of blooms in the WW valley...have asparagus ordered and will visit with LeaAnn.

Spring Gold

Pam stopped by yesterday afternoon with mushrooms!..I had spaghetti ready, so we had dinner, then went mushroom hunting...Herb and I usually go to Fergi, sometimes we find then and sometimes not...Herb and Pam had much better luck than I...my only claim was that I found the first one...spent about two hours amid sprinkles of rain, thunder in the distance and occasional sun breaks...Arrived back home where we sorted and cleaned mushrooms and decided to eat some fresh, dry some and saute and freeze the rest...Herb is making mushrooms and scrambled eggs for breakfast...I can taste them already.

In summary of Daddy's life my thoughts are:  If it can be called a fault, I think his kind heart and generous nature were at the top of the list..He was always there to help other people and would give the shirt off his back if he thought they needed it...People and relatives alike took advantage of him...I don't think that day to day his immediate family went without, because he worked doubly hard to make sure we didn't...But in the long run, it may have been a reason that because he gave so much to other people, he could never get ahead... Usually when you are a giving person, it comes back to you two-fold, but it didn't seem to work that way for him...I don't mean to sound like he never got paid back because he did in many ways...It just seems to me that most of the time he gave much more than he received...I saw a statement just the other day that said, "If you work hard, you will be lucky." Not true in his case...I remember a time when I was about twelve years old and I overheard a conversation about relatives of ours...The statement was made: "Everything they touch turns to money." I said, "I wish they would touch something for us."  Everyone laughed, but later Daddy ask me why I said that, if there was something I wanted or needed...I said, "No, I just wish we had enough money so you didn't have to work so hard."  Out of love for him our entire family worked hard trying to lighten his load, we worshiped the ground he walked on and in return he gave us unconditional love that he expressed freely and often...He taught us honesty, love, kindness, respect, humor, generosity and that hard work never hurt anyone...

Alcoholism was a problem that Daddy shared with his brothers and later, his son was also its victim, all heavy drinkers...He stayed away from alcohol most of the time, but he could not have a social drink...One drink led to another, then another...He turned to alcohol in times of high stress, such as holidays...Things didn't seem so bad, when alcohol took off the edge...When drinking he would buy luxuries for his family, luxuries that we didn't need and definitely couldn't afford...It made some rough times for our family and I remember some Christmas's, not because of the gifts, but because Daddy was drinking and our house was in turmoil...I think he drank at that time to forget the Christmas of 1936, when they lost, their son, Joel...

I thought my world would end when I knew his death was imminent...but I found that that wasn't an option and though it is not easy, life does go on...

I'm going to stop now because I have written and rewritten until some of this is scrambled like the eggs I had for breakfast and at a later day, it will be rewritten again... OWAV:)